fact of itachi uchiha

.) Itachi's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2.) Itachi does not sleep. He waits.
3.) Itachi does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Itachi goes killing.
4.) Itachi counted to infinity - twice.
5.) Itachi sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled Sharigan ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Itachi kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
6.) If you can see Itachi, he can see you. If you can't see Itachi you may be only seconds away from death.
7.) When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Itachi.
8.) Itachi is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
9.) When Itachi sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Itachi has not had to pay taxes ever.
10.) Itachi has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
11.) Itachi can touch MC Hammer.
12.) Itachi sleeps with a night light. Not because Itachi is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Itachi.
13.) To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Itachi smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
14.) A blind man once stepped on Itachi's shoe. Itachi replied, "You, who have never measured your own capabilities; had no idea of Itachi's." The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal Kick delivered by Itachi.
15.) They once made a Itachi toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
16.) Itachi ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
17.) Itachi once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes making out with his waitress.
18.) Itachi appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a kick, insta killing all players.
19.) Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Itachi tendon.
20.) If Itachi is late, time better slow the fuck down.
21.) According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Itachi can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
22.) Itachi died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.